Enough - Finding True Wealth
/By Shelley Murasko
Celebrated authors Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller once attended a Shelter Island party hosted by a billionaire hedge fund manager. As the two chatted, Vonnegut remarked that their host had earned more money in one day than Heller had over the entire lifetime of his extremely popular book, Catch-22. At that, Heller replied, “Yes, but I have something that he will never have — enough.”1
The Idea of Enough
In one word, Heller made a profound statement that has resonated for generations. While the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “enough” as “equal to what is needed,” the word also implies satisfaction with your current situation. In other words, you have enough if you are content with your money situation, your job title, your home’s square footage, and so on. Ultimately, having enough enables the possibility of other life pursuits and priorities.
We live in a society where the idea of enough is often elusive. To some extent, capitalism thrives on the idea of pursuing “more.” For example, marketing experts estimate that most Americans are exposed to around 4,000 to 10,000 advertisements each day that prompt untold amounts of consumption.2
In addition, the American Dream tells us that any person can reach a successful standard of living by working harder. Although there are debates about whether our current society has a successful standard of living, most people agree that we have quite a bit more today than past generations had.
Take my Grandmother Francis, for instance. She raised six kids on an Iowa farm during World War II. The family had one car (not a BMW), one TV (eventually), one phone, and communal beds in shared bedrooms.
The standard of living my grandmother earned through hard work over decades was attainable in my generation by age 25. Plus, we no longer had to share beds!
The Pros and Cons of Pursuing More
To some extent, pursuing a higher standard of living is part of fulfilling dreams. But where does it end or slow down? Is it possible that we are eventually held captive by our careers or retirement portfolios?
If individuals can cover their basic needs and still set aside savings for present and future financial requirements, then why is it that some people sacrifice well-being or family time in pursuit of more?
The truth is that some people experience great joy from work. Achieving goals can deliver a major dose of contentment. Work can also provide a sense of purpose.
In certain cases, work might be the “family” that some individuals lack in their personal lives. Thus, their network of support and social fulfillment derives from the work environment. Clearly, there are worthwhile reasons to dedicate time and energy toward work and career beyond the basic need for financial stability.
On the other hand, some people struggle with the balance between work and other priorities, especially if they dislike their job or coworkers.
If you’re in this situation, perhaps you’ve woken up in the night worried about employee hiring or customer complaints. Or maybe, after working another 12-hour day, you’ve found yourself looking in the mirror and realizing that you’re missing out on important life moments. Perhaps you’re tired of saying no too often to opportunities like rafting down the Grand Canyon with your friends or taking time to help a family member in need.
Your body may even try to tell you that enough is enough. We’ve all heard about a colleague who developed an ulcer triggered by a stressful working environment or suffered a heart attack while on a business trip.
An imbalance between your home and work life can also affect your personal relationships. Your loved ones might lose patience with your quest for more as they face another evening without you while you’re physically or mentally absent.
Pursuing More for the Right Reasons
In this quest for more in life, be wary of the danger of comparing yourself to others. As former President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I can think of few things sadder than the immense lengths some people will go to impress others. This idea is reflected in the movie, Fight Club, when Tyler Durden says, “We buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like.”
For the self-aware, there is acknowledgement that some material pursuits are sought to impress friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Yet our psyches are not as good at recognizing when the new Lexus® is bought merely to make a statement in the employee parking lot or the Botox® injections are deemed necessary to look a certain way at the grocery store.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Many people spend their lives in a never-ending pursuit of happiness. You may write out a list of desires, then start chasing them down. The problem is that each desire, once satisfied, tends to get replaced by a new one. Thus, the cycle begins again.
After a lifetime of pursuit, you could end up no more satisfied than at the beginning. In fact, the quest for money, status, and material goods often makes life more stressful.
Ultimately, the quest for more may prevent you from having the energy or time to build a meaningful life — one spent strengthening relationships, discovering new passions, and digging into the well of deeper learning. In truth, the act of pursuing happiness may become the real thief of true joy.
Thus, it might be worth taking the time to reflect upon what enough really means to you. If your quest for more begins to feel like a prison sentence where you’re locked in a silo of career or money worries, that’s a big red flag!
What Is True Wealth?
If you don’t want to end up like the hedge fund manager at the beginning of this article, take a moment to be grateful for all you have. By doing so, you may be able to see that you likely have enough, and perhaps even more than enough.
In life, true wealth is more than bank accounts and toys and houses. It involves waking up to a day where you enjoy the task at hand.
As Steve Jobs once said, “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Having control of your schedule, whether it’s working shorter workdays to have more free time in the evening or taking lunch breaks to see your kids’ concert, may be more valuable than a prestigious job title and globe-trotting lifestyle. Being able to say “yes” to important life moments, knowing work can wait, is a critical facet of a balanced life.
Along with more personal time, true wealth often comes in the form of good health. When asked what surprised him most about humanity, the Dalai Lama said: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
The Satisfaction Mindset
Ultimately, how you think about what you have in life is essential. Satisfaction often boils down to mindset. True happiness comes from the inside, the inner knowledge that you can get through any situation that arises.
It’s a given that the stock market will fluctuate, surprise expenses will happen, and your political party won’t always reign supreme. Rather than allowing yourself to worry about these likely scenarios, learning how to deal with the unknown in a healthy way will allow you to be a happier person.
Author Nick Murray addressed this idea in his book, Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth, when he wrote, “No matter how much you have, if you’re still worried, you aren’t wealthy.”
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you’re not your job. You’re not the amount of money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive or the clothes you wear. Rather, your personal wealth is made up of many things that don’t cost a dime.
So how can you know if your current mindset is setting you up to live a satisfying life? Take a few moments to consider the following questions:
· How grateful are you for what you do have?
· How thankful are you for those in your life?
· How often do you show them?
· How rich are your conversations with your loved ones?
· How often do you smile at a stranger?
· How do you make people feel?
· How generous are you with others and the causes you care about?
· How often do you extend a hand to a neighbor in need?
· How do you show up in life?
· How gentle are you with yourself?
· How do you view your situation in life?
On the eve of this beautiful new year, forget about creating a list of new goals and to dos for yourself. Instead, accept that you are enough, that others around you are enough, and that you have enough.
Then think about this: If constant striving for more was no longer a central axis of your daily existence, how happy and satisfying would your life be?
Sources:
1. Booren, Steve. (July 18, 2021). “Improving Investory Behavior: Deciding on Enough!” Denver Post. Retrieved from https://prosperion.us/commentary/improving-investor-behavior-deciding-enough/.
2. Simpson, Jon. (Aug. 25, 2017). “Finding Brand Success in the Digital World.” Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesagencycouncil/2017/08/25/finding-brand-success-in-the-digital-world/?sh=571602cb626e.
